If I want a rush, I just get out of a chair when I don’t

Kristianstad Dylan Moran

I don’t bother with drugs myself ‘cause I’m at that age now; I don’t canada goose outlet online uk cheap Canada Goose need to. If I want a rush, I just get out of a chair when I don’t expect it. Forget to give yourself a couple of days notice before you tie your shoes. Whoosh! What a rush!On drugs and middle age.But you see, you measure what a good time you had by how much it fucks you up; you go out tonight, get ripped, get shitfaced. No sens no feeling, nothing, no sensation down the left side of my canada goose outlet toronto factory body.People do. need. things. that are bad for them. They do. Stimulants and so on. They always have. Every so often, some politician or footballer or actor or whoever it is is caught in a hotel room, surrounded by hookers and cocaine. And everybody else goes: «Oh, the shame of it! How could he? How absolutely dreadful! I’d never do that. I’ve never had a chance, but I’d never ever do that! Oh, canada goose outlet black friday the disgust that courses through me right now you could bottle it!» But what else are you supposed to give hookers in a hotel room? «Yogurt, anybody? I made canada goose outlet some yogurt this morning, would you like some? It’s got Granola and everything. You sure? Go canada goose store on, have a bit.»On public figures who canada goose outlet uk get caught in hotel rooms with prostitutes and cocaine.EGGS! They’re not a food, they belong in no group! They’re just farts clothed in substance!Beer must be made by food companies. canada goose black friday sale It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. «What’s that, is it moving, get it!! It’s a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!»On beer.»I Know. I Know! Let’s Go Potholing! In Croatia!» «Fine. I know a guy who can give us a lift. Me!»There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There’s the one where you drink it and go, «Mmmm, well that’s ok, can we get 8 of those please, give us 8 of those.» There’s the other one, you know, where you go «Gabtjesus, WHAT is that?» Very, very canada goose factory outlet occasionally I concede you will hit a subtle one. You know, where you go canada goose outlet shop «Gabaah, actually that’s not that bad, that is. It’s quite nice.»On wine.Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you think, «What is this? This is pointless! It’s you can’t taste it, you can’t smell it. Why did we waste our money canada goose outlet nyc on this, bloody why are we on a traffic island?»On vodka.It turns you into two people: one of you’s very nice, you’ll go up to total strangers and say, «Come in, come in, sit down, for God’s sake, have canada goose outlet jackets something. Have my bed.» And then you’ll go up to people you’ve canada goose black friday sale known and loved all your life and say, «Get the fuck out of my house! Go on, canada goose factory sale get out! And leave a tip!»On whiskeyThe most dangerous drink is gin. You have to be really, really careful with that. And you also have to be 45, female and sitting on the stairs. Because gin isn’t really a drink, it’s more a mascara thinner. «Nobody likes my shoes!» «I made. I made fifty. fucking vol au vents, and not one of you. not one official canada goose outlet of you. said ‘Thank you.'» And my favourite: «Everybody, shut up. Shut up! This song is all about me.»On the effects of gin.The cookery programmes that everybody watches are ridiculous, and so are the house programmes. You know you do not need a fish tank in the atrium you haven’t got. And people now, feel under pressure to perform in their lives. Who has the time though? Who really has the time to skin the baby rabbit and dip it in the duck’s tears and nail it to the garden roof and get to work with the blow torch so it has just the right texture to match the squash you made that morning using just your elbows. Who has the time? Nobody lives like this! We go around thinking that everybody else does, you know? Because what happens is you come in from work, and you think. maybe at most, if you’re getting very adventurous, you will think «TONIGHT, we will eat something that has canada goose outlet two colours in it!» BUT YOU DON’T! You end up sitting in front of the television, watching these programmes, eating bread from the bag, dipping it in anything runnier than bread, because there’s isn’t time for this horse shit!On the cookery programmes.You should stay away from your potential. I mean, that is something you should leave absolutely alone! You’ll mess it up! It’s potential, leave it! And anyway, it’s like your Canada Goose Coats On Sale bank balance, you know: you always have much less than you think.[.] Leave it as the locked door within yourself and then at least, in your mind, the interior will always be palatial. Wonderful gleaming marble floors, brocaded drapes. Mullioned windows, covered in mullions, whatever they are. Flamingos serving https://www.fcvfrankfurt.de drinks. Pianos shooting out canaps into the mouths of elegant men and women who are exchanging witticisms. «Oh yes, this reminds me of the time I was in BudaPESHT with Binky. We were trying Canada Goose sale to steal a goose from the casino, muahahaha.» But it wont be like that[.] canada goose outlet reviews You don’t want to find out that the most you could possibly achieve, if you gave it your all, if you harvested every screed of energy within you, and devoted yourself to improving yourself, that all you would get to, would be maybe eating less cheesy snacks.But look at the people who use [their potential] who do actually give it everything. The Beckhams or Roy Keanes of this world. People charging! Running up and down the field, swearing and shouting at each other. Are they happy? No! They’re destroying themselves! Who’s happy? You! The fat fucks watching them, with a beer can balanced on your ninth belly, roaring advice at the best athletes in the world. «YOU WANKER!»You see, most modern technology doesn’t work. It’s supposed to free you, but it’s a terrible trap, of course. canada goose Mobile phones for example: everybody has one now. I have one and they’re awful. They’ve completely ruined, I mean, people ring you up and say «Hi, it’s me, I’m in the bath!» and you go «Well, you’re still an canada goose clearance asshole, I hope you drown and hello.» And they’ve completely dispensed with the whole drama of news, the simple idea of having something to relate, you know. When you could bound in from the garden and pick up the old Bakelite phone that weighted seven pounds and say «MIRIAM’S DEAD». You can’t do that anymore. You’re probably there! [pantomiming being on phone] «Yes, her head’s rolling back, spit’s coming out, her eyes are going everywhere, here, I’ll take a picture click you see what I mean? Sheeee’s fucked!».